from the tip of your spine to the peak

~palisades_





if you dont comment, or at least add me, you can fuck yourself.

big news... my computer "works". ha.

it's like becoming reacquainted with an old friend you didnt like in the first place. the mouse sucks, the keyboard sticks, and worst of all, my internet connection is like beep beep beep. the beeps indicate extreme slowness. and for some reason, its not letting me download AIM right now, so i'm stuck with express or nothing. just another reason why i hate my parents and their lack of money. i wish a brand new computer would fall [gently] from the sky, and come equipped with free DSL forever.

yes, aim express is the bane of my existence.

SAFER was fun today, but it always is. lewis was there and he is a crazy little lewis now isnt he. i think his sister should bring his toolbox to lunch.

oh my lord, this thing is so slow, its like lulling me into a deep sleep. i sort of just want to go to bed right now. or shoot it. all the anger that's been dormant these past months is just flooding back.

what would be a nice cheap dsl service?

does anyone have a computer capable of some heavy-duty color and/or black and white printing??? that would want to print some photos for me?

p.s. whats with the new update page, these LJ people are really throwing me for a loop.

i'm on the snazzy school laptops. it's weird repeating myself for the sake of having something else to myself. it took me 20 minutes to figure out how to log on to this computer.


santa, i want a laptop.



i've fallen behind in everything. well. not really fallen behind, everything is just piling up and i'd rather sleep than get any of it done. seriously, for the past week i go to bed intending to take a "nap", fall into a deep sleep, have strange dreams, wake up around midnight and then decide its too much work to do my homework, and go back to sleep. maybe i have mono, but probably not. that would involve coming into contact with someone else's spit, i.e. getting some, which i have not and probably wont for a while.

i used to be a huge slut in 7th and 8th grade. well, a slut by middle school terms. i got some. i also had really skinny eyebrows, long hair, and lowcut shirts, and was on the cheerleading team. everything was so stupid and easy back then. now, i have to be intoxicated to have any hope of action, because for some reason whenever someone is intoxicated they get some.

but now i'm calming down on the illegal substance use, so i have a three year plus warranty on my virginity. go virgins.


today is my half birthday, which is lame, but there nonetheless. in six months, i'll be sixteen. "i feel like i'm on the verge of something better, but i know i'm not". i feel so young, but also like i'm running out of time and my life is just flying by with me not accomplishing anything. i know its six months away, but i wonder what i'll be doing on my sixteenth birthday. i sort of just want to skip school [its on a monday] and spend the day alone somewhere. spending it with friends seems so... temporary, because after high school, what friends will i still have? but then again, i'll only be sixteen temporarily, and spending a temporary birthday with potentially temporary friends seems appropriate.


i wonder who out of you will still be there in ten years.

garhshdfjhskjdds



i hate geometry.
now everyone knows one more thing about me.

i have a present for lizzy and a bagel for lunch.

what to do, what to do....

+ i cant focus at all in class, and i have such an urge to reach out and touch someone, but there's no one there. no one in class, very few people at lunch, a handful afterschool. i dont even see most of my friends and i dont know why. oh, i remember, its because im too stupid to make an effort. sometimes i am surrounded by a whole lot, but its a whole lot of empty and nothing. there's so much nothing. maybe i take being american and bored for granted, but there has got to be something to DO besides whatever it is i do all the time. sleep, more often now than anything else. stay afterschool for school activities that are pointless in the long run. but everything is pointless in the long run, isnt it? so i want to be able to just be carefree and not worry about whether or not im doing something worthwhile or if im just doing. or maybe i live a really exciting life and i just dont know it. maybe ill create a fanbase so people i dont know can tell me their opinion, because everyone else is mostly too predictable. oh, everything is just too boring and average in maine. where i live is the source of most of my problems.

+ i should be researching witch hunts, but instead i'd like to have one.

+ no, my main fear is that, if tomorrow, everyone that was useless dropped dead, i would be one of them.

+ i wonder what would happen if eventually the school traced all my computer activities.

+ so i guess i'll do something surprising

( if i only had a brain )

i have french & english tests to make up this morning, but neither of the teachers are in their room yet. wtf.



i need some creative ideas.

P.S. I APOLOGIZE FOR THE ABSURDLY LARGE SIZE OF MOST OF THESE PICTURES.


( bush haters. they're everywhere. and i love it. )

i did NOT get to go to cafe pamplona, and a few other places, but i will GO AGAIN WITH OTHER PEOPLE THAT ARENT OLD!

clarifications.

i was out sick for a while and now i'm way far behind in everything, but its okay, because i am a slacker and i dont care.

i'm making it illegal for anyone to use my name in posts if i dont like them. hello, my name is copyrighted. HA HA HA HAHAHAHHA.

i'm in the school computer lab, uploading pictures and half-listening to the newspaper meeting, even though i should be ACTIVELY listening since i am uberfuhrer. my grandmother is racist, and i quote her as singing "eenie meenie miny moe, catch a nigger by the toe". it was absolutely shocking and i laughed hysterically when she said it, and again when i told it to arica. arica is a meaniepants and scared the bejesus out of me last night on the phone.

i was sick and it caused my maturity level to go wayyyyy down. so expect snarky comments even if i like you. which brings me to the matter of hating everyone anyways. sometimes everything just seems too ridiculous.

for instance, unnamed persons in an unnamed class earlier today.

TEACHER: omigod, is that that lip venom lipgloss?
GIRL: no! its jessica simpson!
OTHER GIRL: omigod let me try!
GIRL: it makes your lips tingle!


this took up five minutes, and is a prime example of what fills my days. yes, i actually do prefer throwing up to school.

yeah, so i stay offline for five days and i miss everything. derek going to jail? people surpassing previous standards of retarded behavior? its just unbelieveable!!! i think maybe i WILL become a hermit. maybe if i keep going away for long periods of time, when i come back EVERYONE will be in jail. or dead.



gar, this is taking forever. two people i HAVE missed: genna & jes. whom i have notes for. but, coincidentally, never see. pcha, i am doomed.




pictures to follow.