from the tip of your spine to the peak

Fri, 24 Sep 2004 02:31:42 GMT

~palisades_

if you dont comment, or at least add me, you can fuck yourself.

Fri, 24 Sep 2004 00:52:25 GMT

big news... my computer "works". ha.

it's like becoming reacquainted with an old friend you didnt like in the first place. the mouse sucks, the keyboard sticks, and worst of all, my internet connection is like beep beep beep. the beeps indicate extreme slowness. and for some reason, its not letting me download AIM right now, so i'm stuck with express or nothing. just another reason why i hate my parents and their lack of money. i wish a brand new computer would fall [gently] from the sky, and come equipped with free DSL forever.

yes, aim express is the bane of my existence.

SAFER was fun today, but it always is. lewis was there and he is a crazy little lewis now isnt he. i think his sister should bring his toolbox to lunch.

oh my lord, this thing is so slow, its like lulling me into a deep sleep. i sort of just want to go to bed right now. or shoot it. all the anger that's been dormant these past months is just flooding back.

what would be a nice cheap dsl service?

Thu, 23 Sep 2004 11:54:04 GMT

i stole these from lizzy even though i took them & yeah... just needed a place to keep them.

Wed, 22 Sep 2004 13:59:17 GMT

i'm on the snazzy school laptops. it's weird repeating myself for the sake of having something else to myself. it took me 20 minutes to figure out how to log on to this computer.

santa, i want a laptop.

i've fallen behind in everything. well. not really fallen behind, everything is just piling up and i'd rather sleep than get any of it done. seriously, for the past week i go to bed intending to take a "nap", fall into a deep sleep, have strange dreams, wake up around midnight and then decide its too much work to do my homework, and go back to sleep. maybe i have mono, but probably not. that would involve coming into contact with someone else's spit, i.e. getting some, which i have not and probably wont for a while.

i used to be a huge slut in 7th and 8th grade. well, a slut by middle school terms. i got some. i also had really skinny eyebrows, long hair, and lowcut shirts, and was on the cheerleading team. everything was so stupid and easy back then. now, i have to be intoxicated to have any hope of action, because for some reason whenever someone is intoxicated they get some.

but now i'm calming down on the illegal substance use, so i have a three year plus warranty on my virginity. go virgins.

today is my half birthday, which is lame, but there nonetheless. in six months, i'll be sixteen. "i feel like i'm on the verge of something better, but i know i'm not". i feel so young, but also like i'm running out of time and my life is just flying by with me not accomplishing anything. i know its six months away, but i wonder what i'll be doing on my sixteenth birthday. i sort of just want to skip school [its on a monday] and spend the day alone somewhere. spending it with friends seems so... temporary, because after high school, what friends will i still have? but then again, i'll only be sixteen temporarily, and spending a temporary birthday with potentially temporary friends seems appropriate.

i wonder who out of you will still be there in ten years.

Wed, 22 Sep 2004 11:50:53 GMT

garhshdfjhskjdds

i hate geometry.
now everyone knows one more thing about me.

i have a present for lizzy and a bagel for lunch.

the culling of the species

Tue, 21 Sep 2004 16:53:55 GMT

what to do, what to do....

+ i cant focus at all in class, and i have such an urge to reach out and touch someone, but there's no one there. no one in class, very few people at lunch, a handful afterschool. i dont even see most of my friends and i dont know why. oh, i remember, its because im too stupid to make an effort. sometimes i am surrounded by a whole lot, but its a whole lot of empty and nothing. there's so much nothing. maybe i take being american and bored for granted, but there has got to be something to DO besides whatever it is i do all the time. sleep, more often now than anything else. stay afterschool for school activities that are pointless in the long run. but everything is pointless in the long run, isnt it? so i want to be able to just be carefree and not worry about whether or not im doing something worthwhile or if im just doing. or maybe i live a really exciting life and i just dont know it. maybe ill create a fanbase so people i dont know can tell me their opinion, because everyone else is mostly too predictable. oh, everything is just too boring and average in maine. where i live is the source of most of my problems.

+ i should be researching witch hunts, but instead i'd like to have one.

+ no, my main fear is that, if tomorrow, everyone that was useless dropped dead, i would be one of them.

+ i wonder what would happen if eventually the school traced all my computer activities.

+ so i guess i'll do something surprising

Tue, 21 Sep 2004 11:28:12 GMT

i have french & english tests to make up this morning, but neither of the teachers are in their room yet. wtf.

i need some creative ideas.

Mon, 20 Sep 2004 19:34:59 GMT

P.S. I APOLOGIZE FOR THE ABSURDLY LARGE SIZE OF MOST OF THESE PICTURES.

wait did i mention this was during my trip to boston?

thats what color my hair turned after i dyed it.

man with shopping cart.

the ghetto!

CONTRABAND!!! i love this painting. i had to sneak around to take the picture, i felt like a spy.

oh yeah i took pictures of random people, because they are so much more interesting than the ones i already know.

superman!

that was like the most expensive shoe store i have ever been in. i found a pair of shoes that i really like, and they were on sale... for 120 dollars. wee.

i was stalking that girl and she is pretty.

i didnt pose that.

emo boy! h&m!

oh, and in boston, there are lakes in the middle of the street.

i did NOT get to go to cafe pamplona, and a few other places, but i will GO AGAIN WITH OTHER PEOPLE THAT ARENT OLD!

Mon, 20 Sep 2004 18:35:25 GMT

clarifications.

i was out sick for a while and now i'm way far behind in everything, but its okay, because i am a slacker and i dont care.

i'm making it illegal for anyone to use my name in posts if i dont like them. hello, my name is copyrighted. HA HA HA HAHAHAHHA.

i'm in the school computer lab, uploading pictures and half-listening to the newspaper meeting, even though i should be ACTIVELY listening since i am uberfuhrer. my grandmother is racist, and i quote her as singing "eenie meenie miny moe, catch a nigger by the toe". it was absolutely shocking and i laughed hysterically when she said it, and again when i told it to arica. arica is a meaniepants and scared the bejesus out of me last night on the phone.

i was sick and it caused my maturity level to go wayyyyy down. so expect snarky comments even if i like you. which brings me to the matter of hating everyone anyways. sometimes everything just seems too ridiculous.

for instance, unnamed persons in an unnamed class earlier today.

TEACHER: omigod, is that that lip venom lipgloss?
GIRL: no! its jessica simpson!
OTHER GIRL: omigod let me try!
GIRL: it makes your lips tingle!

this took up five minutes, and is a prime example of what fills my days. yes, i actually do prefer throwing up to school.

yeah, so i stay offline for five days and i miss everything. derek going to jail? people surpassing previous standards of retarded behavior? its just unbelieveable!!! i think maybe i WILL become a hermit. maybe if i keep going away for long periods of time, when i come back EVERYONE will be in jail. or dead.

gar, this is taking forever. two people i HAVE missed: genna & jes. whom i have notes for. but, coincidentally, never see. pcha, i am doomed.

pictures to follow.

Mon, 20 Sep 2004 11:53:12 GMT

I'VE BEEN SICK FOR KAJSDFKJSADFJLJKL;F FIVE DAYS

AND I LOST SIX POUNDS

BUT NOW I GAINED THEM ALL BACK AND IM AT SCHOOL AND I HATE IT!

and weirdos go away.
i hate everyone

Mon, 13 Sep 2004 18:01:11 GMT

i hate tyler yeo
he's like a really bad case of ringworm

Mon, 13 Sep 2004 17:58:31 GMT

oh my.

stupid guys are taking over the newspaper.

lizzy & i are going to plant bombs. yeah!

MOVIES tomorrow. yeahhhh. we're sitting in the back.

Mon, 13 Sep 2004 17:58:31 GMT

oh my.

stupid guys are taking over the newspaper.

lizzy & i are going to plant bombs. yeah!

MOVIES tomorrow. yeahhhh. we're sitting in the back.

Sun, 12 Sep 2004 02:27:20 GMT

do do do

any ideas for a job?

would the grasshopper shop hire a 15 year old?

Sat, 11 Sep 2004 03:19:52 GMT

okay so

kelly took me to mcdonalds so i could pick up my very last check. it was for 18 dollars.

i am very angry. firstly, they didnt even pay me for an entire HOUR, yes, an hour, i know i worked four hours and i was only paid for three.

then, jill told me i had been written up for having the wrong shoes, and that 18 dollars had been missing from the drawer i was last on.

hmm.... the drawer they were speaking of, i wasnt even supposed to BE on, anddskjflskdflk its just dumb. because i dont mess up giving change and i didnt steal anything. its like they're getting their revenge on me or something. oh, who cares.

it took us three hours to make an hour and a half trip. we missed like five exits. go us.

Fri, 10 Sep 2004 17:22:08 GMT

what is a good website for stashing writing?

something a bit more educated than livejournal.

a little less complicated than fictionpress [what with the having to save it to your computer, etc, etc]

a little friendlier than diary-x

and idiot-compatible?

i am a SWF looking for a... perfect website.

Fri, 10 Sep 2004 14:55:10 GMT

well this is pretty...

So this is for when you're feeling happy again
And this is for when you're feeling sad
And this is for when you feel
Something

genna sent me a rockin' link... persephassa.com. oh, it's just full of nice little things.

one.
two.
three.
four.

i'm in a surprise study hall which has replaced le francais. there is still a half hour left, & i have absolutely nothing to do. i dont want to go back to the study hall room, there is no one i'd like to talk to & i have no real work to do. ave had surgery yesterday? that would explain a lot.

oh, i'm off to boston this weekend. excitement abounds. anna, can you refer me to any small unheard-of places? isnt cafe pomplona in boston?? well, i'm going down to portland tonight, will upload pictures, finally. damn my computer. i'm getting a new one soon, hopefully. & i'm praying it will have the capacity to run photoshop. my old one didn't.

then i take the train early tomorrow morning. woo, trains.

this chair isnt very supportive. hmm, what else can i write to waste the time? SAFER was fun, yesterday. kelly was supposed to bring the exchange student, alvaro, but it was raining so he didnt want to go? i got my tetanus shot, & now my arm is sore. i'm on more more more! meds. one being birth control ["hormone therapy"], so if i was sexually active, my chances of getting pregnant would go down! but i'm not, so lets just hope that birth control works against immaculate conception as well, that being my only real worry in the baby department.

the past is lost in passing... i can't just move forward for no reason, or for a tease. I want something new, something beautiful. A new way to be alive, a new way to breathe. i'm telling you, this website is fantastic.

i hate waking up afraid, because of some dream or other, but having no recollection of the dream causing the problem. my palms are taking on a blu(e?)ish tinge, & this school is becoming duller by the second.

*the following conversation took place in Mr. Tasker's room*

TASKER: do any of you listen to that emo stuff?
ANONYMOUS GIRL: oh, i listen to dashboard confessional, but they're totally not emo. they're actually really good.
ME: are you kidding? dashboard is the epitome of emo. even the emo kids hate them.
ANONYMOUS GIRL: oh, well, i only like two of their songs
ME: douchebag
OTHER GIRL: i've never heard of them. [even though we see their lyrics in her profile all the time. explain that!]

i'll be looking for a job soon, once everything at school calms down. maybe i'll pose as 16, so i can actually get some hours every now & then. but if anyone hears of a job out there [preferably not in the fast-food area] you should tell me.

¶ I heard on the radio a few days ago a story about a girl who just walked into the ocean and never came back. She let the sea swallow her heart-beat. It sounds so romantic, so tragic. I imagine myself, walking robotically. Wading out into the water and then the sea covering me, filling my lungs. I never would though. It only seems like I could when I sit here, alone in my room with my blinds drawn and the lights off.

bop, bop. i need some books to read, too. five minutes until lunch. where has everyone gone?? i'm missing the bangor homecoming. i feel really detached from everyone else. like high school isnt really high school, it's a huge black hole in disguise, just waiting until you arent paying attention & then BAM! it sucks everything around you into it. then you turn around & wonder where everything/everyone has gone. oh my lanta.

-k. i inspire to be more interesting/captivating.

Fri, 10 Sep 2004 11:31:55 GMT

wtf mates

where is everyone?

Thu, 09 Sep 2004 11:44:23 GMT

the only thing that would have made it better would be if we had been arrested

Wed, 08 Sep 2004 11:37:35 GMT

oh my!

hmm. lizzy, kelly and i are going to see JOHN EDWARDS tonight at UMO. its going to be very political. maybe i can ask some questions, because my dad and i had a chat and he came up with some very reasonable issues.

bop. still hating the whole school thing. i have a geometry assignment due in like 20 minutes that i havent even started, because its so ridiculous and confusing. confusing!!! what is the point of drawing stupid lines through a triangle??? i dont really want to know what the circumcenter is! fuck triangles!!!

i also had newspaper yesterday afterschool. two different teachers are running it, no more manion. and they're all rahh! formatting! plus we're going back to "the crusader" as the title. more news, less opinion! that's one aspect im not really fond of... last year the paper was really messy and ahh, but i liked how it was mostly opinion. isnt it supposed to be an outlet for student opinion, not a BDN-type paper full of news most people have probably already heard?? but i guess it will be a good thing--ill miss the unconventional chaos of the paper when it was run by manion, but hews & young will probably pull it together a lot better.

yeahhasjdlkasja. oh, little things like people's shoes really piss me off.

Tue, 07 Sep 2004 11:34:40 GMT

well, that's lovely.

you know, i hate school.

Mon, 06 Sep 2004 00:31:02 GMT

welllllllllllllllllllllllllllll boo.

[-Name-] krystin
[-Nicknames-] k-dawg. ha. uhh, i dont have any nicknames! SOMEONE GIVE ME ONE!
[-Screen name-] theseventhdegree. oh i dont know, i'm at a loss for a new sn. so i guess thats temporary
[-b0rn on_-] 3/22/89
[-l0cati0n_-] holden
[-Eye color-] blue
[-Height-] 5'2"
[-Status-] free, as in like a bird, but not as in "hey im free wink wink". just unattached
[-Siblings-] 2 younger sisters
[-Pets-] killer cat named "cat", black mutt named spike
[-Nationality-] le french canadian
[-Fave Number-] 7
[-Fave Song-] mercury rising
[-Fave Candy-] uuhh. LAFFY TAFFY
[-Fave Lyrics-] lately i've been feeling like a falling bomb slash anything thursday thankyouverymuch
[-Favorite object in your room-] my room is decidedly lackluster while at the same time very chaotic. i dont have a favorite object at all though.

DO YOU...

[-Color your hair-] i just did. i swear, whenever i dye my hair, it looks different for a week, but then my hair sucks the color up and goes back to my boring usual color
[-Have tattoos-] no
[-Piercings-] ears
[swear a lot-] ha!
[-Diet-] uhh?

HAVE YOU EVER...

[-Kicked someone in the nuts-] yes
[-Cheated on someone-] no
[-Cried over a girl/boy-] yes
[-Been in love-] yes
[-Made out with JUST a friend-] yes
[-Been in lust-] yes
[-Used someone-] possibly., okay yes.
[-Been used-] probably

LAST PERSON WHO...

[-Slept in your bed-] kelly
[-Made you cry-] i dont know
[-You shared a drink with-] cameron
[-You went to the movies with-] its been so long!
[-Yelled at you-] my mom when i almost hit another car backing out of the driveway
[-Sent you an email-] NOBODY! all i get are stupid LJ comments

HAVE YOU EVER...

[-Been to New York-] yes
[-Been to Florida-] yes
[-California-] no
[-Hawaii-] no
[-Mexico-] no
[-China-] no
[-Canada-] yes
[-Danced naked-] oh yes

Other...

[-What was the last food you ate?-] lobster!
[-Are you bored-] yes
[-Last movie you saw-] does a three hour beavis & butthead marathon count as a movie?
[-Last noise you heard-] the sound of me screwing the bottlecap back on my water

YOUR HEALTH...

[-Have you been hospitalized-] yes
[-Have you had a broken bone-] no
[-Do you have any serious physical health problems-] nope
[-Do you have any mental health issues-] nothing DIAGNOSED but im sure i could convince a therapist i've got something or other
[-Do you see a psychologist or take anti-depressants, or seek professional help? ] no, i should.

ARE YOU ...

[-Happy-] depends
[-Sad-] more often
[-Bored-] yes
[-Confused-] no
[-Tired-] quite
[-Mad-] not right now
[-Pissed-] OH I AM RIPPED SHIT! no im okay i just ate a brownie. its all good.

The Friends...

[-Best Friend-] in terms of most-dependable, oldest, soul-mate, knows-everything-and-anything, i'd have to say arica and alison.
[-Biggest Nerd-] uhh
[-Biggest Flirt-] hmm these are hard questions
[-Idiot-] I WILL NOT LABEL MY FRIENDS!
[-Craziest-] kelly, surprisingly. shes naked the most often
[-Stupidest-] depends
[-Biggest Dork-] well these are all awfully mean.
[-Biggest Dumbass-] hmpf.

A few more questions ...

[-Last time you went out of the state-] a while ago. sadly.
[-Last time you were outside-] uhh, walking from the car to the house? or streaking the other night. or the fair last night. depends on if you mean in touch with nature or just day to day outside.
[-You had a snowball fight-] i dont do snow
[-Last time you were on the internet-] this very minute
[-Last time you jump infront of a moving car-] the other night
[-Last time you watched tv-] whenever it was that chris was over
[-Last public place you were-] the fair
[-Last person you hugged-] uhh
[-Last person that told you they love you-]julie!
[-Last person you told you love them-] genna
[-Last person you IM`d-] genna
[-Object you can not live w.out-] uhh.. food. water. shoes.
[-Future daughters' names] definitely something out of the ordinary. i've always resented my parents' generic choice in naming me, and i refuse to follow their example,
[-Future sons' names-] like i said.
[-Did you have fun doing this-] oh, great fun.

Sun, 05 Sep 2004 22:27:26 GMT

hmm.

i'm in lamoine, which explains the computer use.
bekha came over the other night.

i have a funny story
my cat brought in a chipmunk. i thought it was dead so i told my sister to go throw it out. she went to do it but then the chipmunk jumped up and ran down the hall into the bathroom and got stuck in the tub. so we spent half an hour trying to get it into a little cage. and then it hopped onto bekhas hand and played nice and i took pictures.

then we went for a walk in the dark. went semi-streaking. chris came along and we rode on the roof of his truck and that was crazy fun. we watched movies and yeah yeah yeah.

i quit my job yesterday. then kelly and i went to the springfield fair. kelly has a bad speeding problem. we had fun, we hung out with cameron and mitch. THERE WERE BABY COWS AND THEY WERE SO CUTE! yeah, then we went over to cameron's to pee, we had to sneak around but then realized his parents weren't even home. way to go cameron. then kelly and i drove home, we didnt get there until 11 30 and bam, now i'm at camp. i have a paper to write and i have to do it now since i have no computer at home.

pch, what has everyone been doing?? i'm in the mood for some movies or something like that.

Fri, 03 Sep 2004 00:52:58 GMT

way to answer my question lizzy

ho hum. i'm on my grandmother's work laptop, which isnt very good considering its a work laptop & i cant download AIM, sticking me with crappy AIM Express, which kicks me off every five minutes. *grr*

hmm. avery is teaching me to paint, thats nice. i had lunch with kelly & carlie. blah, blah, blah. i wrote genna a NOTE which i havent given her, & got one from jes.

well kym drove us to bangor high to pick up romie. woo, i saw julie! and a few other people, but not many. sigh. no me gusta bapst.

lizzy, kelly, arica & i went to bagel centralll before safer. ilka, romie, & LEWIS were there. yay for lewis.

& thennnn, we had the first official safer meeting, and it was lovely. anna! who brought maria & siri! new people from hampden! lewis's little sister (& lewis, for his last meeting). AND IT WAS SO MUCH FUN!! pink underwear game & lots of random stuff & yeah, safer is one bright shiny ray of sunshine in an otherwise bleak & dismal existance. sort of.

need i mention i called in sick to attend this meeting?? yeah, i've given it a lot of thought & decided to put in my two week notice at the Fast Food Empire. ALISON YOU MAY THINK I AM A FICKLE AND SILLY GIRL FOR QUITTING BUT IM NOT. im just all stressed out & crazy like, plus i plan on doing stuff afterschool, & i just dont have time right now. i'll probably get another job once things calm down, or when i realize i have no money. but that is not right now & i just dont want to work at the moment. so no more fries for me.

other than that, i am on an emotional merry-go-round. i might have some people over tomorrow night, i have work saturday and then kelly and i are going to the springfield fair. my parents are actually letting me drive all the way up with her. wadata.

i feel like everything i say is pointless. but also, i feel like everything those people say is a lot more pointless, and worse because they dont even realize it. i'm sick to death of stupid people.

Thu, 02 Sep 2004 11:51:07 GMT

ooooooooooooookay. so my computer is officially out of commission. like it.. went all crazy and now it doesnt turn on. but sooner or later i'm getting a new one.

BUT LIKE I SAID MY PHONE STILL WORKS, and now so does my cell phone.

i started school last friday, eh. no arica! but its okay, anyways, i have a study hall with kelly in which we go down to the art class. and lunches with people. two of my classes are all freshmen except for me, ha ha. meagan martin now lives sort of near me, which is cool for the bus ride. and so does that aaron saunders kid.

i've been alternating really bad moods with really good ones. oh, yeah. and movies at my house sometime soon.